i see this in my future.
I’ve written this (many times) in my past and I’m just gonna say it works for much more than a mere sink full o’ dishes. Simply substitute the first sentence for…
- I forgot to pick your mom up at the airport last night & she still hasn’t called.
- I called your boss a cocksucking corporate rapist & got you fired.
- I crashed your car. Into an LA city bus full of witnesses.
- I killed your dog. And may have poisoned your friends.
- I burned down your apartment.
- I slept with your cousin. And your brother. Together.
- I started an illegal gaming ring in your name & now you’re wanted in the state of Louisianna.
- I killed a high class call girl I hired while using your ID. Her body is under your bed.
However …I will have sex with you to make up for it. Love you!
*We here at Apocalypse Pie cannot personally vouch for the effectiveness of offering sexual acts after any of the afforementioned occurances. Apocalypse Pie cannot be held responsible for any damages that may occur due to causing any of the afforementioned disasters, be it intentional or otherwise. Do not actually attempt anything that we may have suggested in the past or may continue to suggest in the future.